Defensiveness kills connection

Shrinking myself as much as I could I squeezed my way down the aisle of a crowded train looking for my reserved seat.

I was tired, a little hungry and not really in the mood to talk. But it looked as though I would be sharing my seat with a middle-aged gentleman, wearing what looked like a very expensive suit. I was wearing my dirty dog walking boots, with messy hair & a scarf I bought at a charity shop for a pound.  Feeling slightly self-conscious I awkwardly sat down.

Soon a conversation started between the gentleman and myself and to no real surprise he told he was a lawyer from London. I was wary and reserved at first – admittedly this was due to the fact I had read too many books saying most lawyers are sociopath’s or narcissists – cue the paranoia!

In that 2 hour journey we exchanged so much about our lives, about love, divorce, bereavement, children, pets…. although we seemed like chalk and cheese, we in fact had a lot in common. We both laughed a lot and the chuckled conversations seemed to spread to the retired couple sitting in front of us. They then shared their stories of travels and how they had only been in Rome that very morning. The strong viking looking man, sitting to the side of us also joined in. Telling us how he had a busy week away from his family and was happy to be returning home. Then to my surprise another two women, a few seats down, giggling away and who kindly said I had an infectious laugh.

Before long a group of strangers were all in engaged in conversation. Something had shifted; we all seemed to have vibrated onto the same frequency of openness.  Which felt entirely right.

Saying my good byes, I stepped off the train and realised I haven’t eaten my sandwich. I was buzzing with so much warmth I forgot I was even hungry. Walking to my car while stuffing my very late (it was now dinner) lunch into my mouth a wave of something, exhilaration maybe, came over me.




It was a bit like that feeling you get when you fall in love, like you’re transported to some other realm of consciousness. Your body feels light and every day spaces, like train stations on damp afternoons, take on some kind of enchantment. Everything feels magical, connected and blissful.

“Defensiveness kills connection. Curiosity deepens it”

How wonderful it feels when we decide to give to people, when we decide to open our heart and allow space for them to open theirs.

There was so much abundance radiating from that small carriage. What started out, for most of us I’m sure, as the usual sealed envelopes that we carry with us for protection, gradually became unstuck.

And that’s when the mundane become exotic.

~ Namaste ~




Like a plant, growing takes time

Recently I attended a Yoga and Meditation Workshop, at the very welcoming Lotus Loft, situated in the heart of Exeter city centre.

Arriving just in time, I hastily opened the door and the first thing I noticed was the beautiful fragrance of incense.  An attractive lady greeted me, she had long golden hair with the tips dyed a deep red.  She would be my yoga instructor for the day.

Her calm and authentic nature made unfolding the stresses of life seem simple, and I was happy to be in this space of Self.   As the session came to a close, the teacher kindly handed out a plant to each student to take home.

Her teachings were simple and sweet: –

Neatly seated on folded knees, we were advised that, once we established a good Self Care routine, our cup becomes so full, it freely over spills and we can become the best version of ourselves.  *Too often, this Self Care is over looked*

Putting other people at the top of our priority list is something many of us do daily.  While letting our own needs fall to the bottom. We often commit to helping those around us, clearing up others mess, cooking the food and eating last.  Serving ourselves the same love and compassion tends to be much more of a struggle.

Looking down at the small succulent plant in my hand, we were gently reminded that, like a plant, self-care practice would take time to nurture and grow.   It means – taking little moments, where we can, to invest in ourselves whole heartily.

To always practice refilling our cup.

Like nature, not everything is perfect and life rarely goes as we plan.  No matter how much we nurture it, it may not turn out just as we hoped.   We have to be gentle with the unexpected events life throws at us and be prepared (cup full) to roll with the punches.   When things get though, do not give up on yourself.

Allow yourself the time to develop a strong self-care practice and be graceful enough to forgive yourself if it doesn’t look like what you hoped for.

Most importantly, SHOW UP for YOURSELF.

Just like you would do for your plant or a loved one – a little each day.

  ~ Namaste ~