Defensiveness kills connection

Shrinking myself as much as I could I squeezed my way down the aisle of a crowded train looking for my reserved seat.

I was tired, a little hungry and not really in the mood to talk. But it looked as though I would be sharing my seat with a middle-aged gentleman, wearing what looked like a very expensive suit. I was wearing my dirty dog walking boots, with messy hair & a scarf I bought at a charity shop for a pound.  Feeling slightly self-conscious I awkwardly sat down.

Soon a conversation started between the gentleman and myself and to no real surprise he told he was a lawyer from London. I was wary and reserved at first – admittedly this was due to the fact I had read too many books saying most lawyers are sociopath’s or narcissists – cue the paranoia!

In that 2 hour journey we exchanged so much about our lives, about love, divorce, bereavement, children, pets…. although we seemed like chalk and cheese, we in fact had a lot in common. We both laughed a lot and the chuckled conversations seemed to spread to the retired couple sitting in front of us. They then shared their stories of travels and how they had only been in Rome that very morning. The strong viking looking man, sitting to the side of us also joined in. Telling us how he had a busy week away from his family and was happy to be returning home. Then to my surprise another two women, a few seats down, giggling away and who kindly said I had an infectious laugh.

Before long a group of strangers were all in engaged in conversation. Something had shifted; we all seemed to have vibrated onto the same frequency of openness.  Which felt entirely right.

Saying my good byes, I stepped off the train and realised I haven’t eaten my sandwich. I was buzzing with so much warmth I forgot I was even hungry. Walking to my car while stuffing my very late (it was now dinner) lunch into my mouth a wave of something, exhilaration maybe, came over me.

 

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It was a bit like that feeling you get when you fall in love, like you’re transported to some other realm of consciousness. Your body feels light and every day spaces, like train stations on damp afternoons, take on some kind of enchantment. Everything feels magical, connected and blissful.

“Defensiveness kills connection. Curiosity deepens it”

How wonderful it feels when we decide to give to people, when we decide to open our heart and allow space for them to open theirs.

There was so much abundance radiating from that small carriage. What started out, for most of us I’m sure, as the usual sealed envelopes that we carry with us for protection, gradually became unstuck.

And that’s when the mundane become exotic.

~ Namaste ~

 

 

 

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